She Be Fierce

I can’t count the times I have watched the epic Cleopatra starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. The Egyptian queen and Roman warrior fall deeply and madly in love, intense stuff from the real life lovers. Made in 1963, this 4 ½ hour historical drama had its fair share of drama before even being made but thankfully they pulled it off and is recognised for being the film that changed Hollywood.

I tell you, man can’t go into battle or think straight when a woman is on his mind more than the enemy at the gate. Marc Anthony lost the plot a soldier who could go into cold-blooded battle but when faced with love adopts tactics which are unrecognisable to his legions. He found what could’ve been peace of his own, fortunately for him it was the right woman but tragically, the wrong time.

Timing is everything and yet there are those who wonder why they met that certain someone when they did, why they didn’t get the job they have dreamed of and why nothing ever works out the way they want it to. Now scared of those crushing feelings, the imaginary wall you have built around your mind to block a soldier or queen entering your world gets higher and higher obstructing any rays the warming sun is trying desperately to shine on you.

Self-protection means that you value your life, feelings and the future you see for yourself but it can also have an adverse effect. Fearful of losing the balance you have now found, you risk letting go of the one thing that will support, understand, listen and be there when your balance tips to one side. This doesn’t mean that you expect everything to be done for you; a meaningful and long-lasting friendship or relationship should be about encouraging each other…nothing less.

Recognise those who add stress, pressure and confusion, finding reasons for these negatives will only distract you from what your mind and soul desire.

Know who are the curious, inspiring, energetic, inviting and selfless. Time is precious to them, they will add value and enhance the hours in your day, not waste them.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2014

‘Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be’

Abraham Lincoln

Relationships can take a lifetime to build and a moment to break. The most complicated of these relationships but essential is that of a man and a woman. So why is it something that we can’t live without?

It’s a basic human need that many try to fight off. Singletons will say, “I like being on my own, no one to cook for, no one hogging the bathroom in the morning, no one taking up the entire sofa, no one fidgeting annoyingly because you are watching a movie they hate”. But you have no one! No one to share the sofa with, no one to cry or laugh with when you are watching a movie, no one to share a bath with and no one to tell you that you make a mean spag bol!

Does the love of your life truly exist? I believe he or she is out there, even though at times, I have my doubts. I wonder what it feels like to meet someone who feels sure about you. No more game playing or passing the time, the text you send and check your phone every minute for a reply, you comment on their Facebook status and stare at the blue and white screen hoping that they will say something back. Women reply to everything, men are more likely to hold back. A hint perhaps, that they are keeping their distance for a reason.

You won’t know what that reason is you’ll just have to guess (maybe you already know the answer) Us women, we get such a buzz from male attention.; you remove every bit of unwanted hair just in case, lose a few pounds from the butterflies in your stomach, a spring in your step that a 100 meter runner can only dream of and become all giggly with a glint in your eye that says…here I am!! Pupils dilate and the twirling of your hair with newly manicured fingers is a giveaway; you’re not even aware of what you are doing.

Human behaviour; psychologists, doctors and Professor Robert Winston have spent years studying our emotions, signals and actions. Respected members of the medical profession, dedicated in their pursuit of understanding Adam and Eve. American comedian, author and writer George Carlin saw things from a different perspective.

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” – George Carlin

Agree or disagree, that’s your choice. No one is wrong but someone will come along and be right.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2014

I often wonder about going to a random train station and jumping on a train to ‘who knows where.’ Who knows where is a destination shrouded in mystery and anticipation for the traveller about to enter its borders and I for one wouldn’t mind taking this heady trip; as long as I have air in my lungs I’m breathing, isn’t that all I need? You see when you have a feeling that something isn’t quite right it can be so hard to explain, you are encouraged to see what you do have instead of what you don’t making you seem selfish.

I am grateful for so many blessings in my life but this isn’t about the things I have or the people around me, I know who they are; I notice and love them even if I seem detached at times. This is about something that goes deeper, there is a level of consciousness that speaks louder than any conversation you have with a partner, sister, brother or friend. Something is missing, you know it and the people who love you know it too yet they remind you of all the good things anyway. How can you be positive all the time when it isn’t how you’re feeling?

I honestly think that forced positivity will cause a lot more damage. It seems to me that we read a quote that lifts our spirits for a moment, for a few seconds we feel alright? Does this make me negative? I am a realist and I know the only way for positive thoughts to have any kind of rightful place in my mind is to understand the negative; only then can I start the cleansing process. Be happy anyway they say, but why? You would be cheating yourself and anyone you meet will never really know the real you, just the fake one.

Sounds like I’m anti-positivity doesn’t it. I’m far from  being against a state of mind that brings us calm and balance; I just don’t think we should hide behind it. It will come but only if the fears, worries, angst and hurt we have are dealt with. A relationship has ended, your way of dealing with it is to find another, you have an unexpected fall out with a friend so you think making new friends will help you to move on. These are just two scenarios where you have given yourself no time to come to terms with loss and to heal. As a result, you are not a true representation of yourself.

As much as we try to figure out why people have thrown us under a bus we avoid asking questions of ourselves. It’s not a blame game, more a time for going on a self-awareness quest. Taking responsibility for our own actions is the hardest thing to do but when you ask yourself the unthinkable, you allow space for the unimaginable….happiness.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2014