Category: Uncategorized

It’s sad when marriages and relationships reach the point of no return. Among the top 10 reasons for these irretrievable breakups is boredom. I’d love to know what bores men in the marital or shared home but as I’m a woman I can only guess. There are many more deep and emotionally disturbing reasons and each painful story we hear doesn’t make for easy listening. We are lead to believe that there were less divorces back in the day because family values and the vows made before God meant that you had a duty to see things through; I’m sure there is some truth in that belief but I’m going to look at things from a slightly different angle.

I blame the boredom so many women have to endure daily on technology. Whilst innovative technology has proved to be an absolute god send in so many areas of our lives it has also turned the most interesting, attentive and enthusiastic men into complete strangers. I’m going to take this theory all the way back to the light bulb, I never thought seeing the light would be a negative but before Thomas Edison’s invention people went to bed earlier giving them more time together…the reason perhaps for so many large families?

The remote control is my next perpetrator! Glued to his hand he is the only one able to decipher the worn out buttons after pressing them so much. Women up and down the country feeling like they are second best to the LCD TV that takes up an entire wall, not knowing if he feels your presence in the room or worse he knows and asks you for a cup of tea…babe! We are now in a sorrier state than before and the remote control and pestiferous plasma are just the start of things to come.

You have all become widows of FIFA13/14 and Call of Duty your men wishing they could use their size nine’s like Messi and fight like Rambo; meanwhile your soldier is lost in action gone A.W.O.L and you have no idea when he will be home on leave. He’s up all night competing with people he’s never even met and prefers these invisible souls to the girl he once bent over backwards for and wooed incessantly to win over. He has no idea that his opponent isn’t the only one he is crushing…

Men are visual creatures and when something catches their eye they will look, I would find it strange if they didn’t. The problem, I believe, is that they aren’t looking at you anymore. You find yourself saying, “But all they could see was me before”. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off me”. “He’s changed”. It’s true that many (not all) women crave attention and lap it up when a man gives her what she wants but maybe he doesn’t feel he has to…anymore.

He thinks you should already know what he sees in you but now and then we have a need to be reminded; trouble is men don’t like repeating themselves. Interesting really as they don’t mind playing the same game over and over. I’m not saying they shouldn’t play just that balance and mutual understanding takes time and effort if he or she is worth it. To console means to alleviate sorrow but fellas you have been mislead; the games console you’re having a fling with will bring you nothing but grief. Switch it off from time to time and switch on to the Call of Your Woman!

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

Ever had an Eat Pray Love moment when you just want to disappear and discover yourself? I had one of those moments and decided on Rome as the city where I would attempt to find me. My first solo trip abroad just happened to be in one of the most romantic cities in the world; I certainly don’t do things by halves but the only love affair I had on that memorable trip was with Italy. It was one of the best decisions I ever made but really, did I think I’d get by with my little how to speak Italian hand book and not even read it before I set off on my adventure? Actually it made for more fun!

After landing in Italy, I spent at least twenty minutes trying to muster up the courage to hail a taxi. Luckily, a girl I met on the plane asked me if I wanted a lift….phew was my first thought, what am I doing she’s a stranger was my second and my third thought came to me when I saw my mode of transport was a mini…blimey, it’s the Italian job!!

Well, what a city! The Sistine Chapel is stunning but be ready for the neck ache from looking up at the beautiful art work on its ceiling for too long. Eating an ice cream whilst sitting by the Trevi Fountain is a must (I did that twice) and oh the Colloseum! When you first see it, it takes your breath away and once you are inside there is an overwhelming feeling that Maximus Decimus Meridius is about to appear and charge across on his trusty steed; but Russell Crowe was nowhere to be seen yet I felt his presence and every other gladiator that fought in this ghostly arena.

As you already know, I didn’t bother to read the handbook so ordering food was an experience. I endeavored to order what I thought was Carbonara from the menu. The word ‘Crema’ in my native language of Greek is associated with savoury food, however not so in Italy. The waiter and I totally got our wires crossed and shortly after attempting to order a pasta extravaganza I was presented with a dessert covered with lashings of cream. My heart sank and anyone who knows me well will tell you that I don’t have a sweet tooth; I wasn’t having a bellissmo momento!

Seated on the table next to me were ‘The Golden Girls’ all the way from the USA with matching baseball caps and glitzy tracksuits. These three, kind warm-hearted American dolls offered to share their food with me. They called me honey with an accent that could only have come from the ‘Deep South’…fiddle e dee!!! I felt like Scarlett O’Hara from my favourite film ‘Gone with the wind’. The hard times behind me and hope finally in sight her famous quote from the film came to mind as my stomach rumbled…loudly:

“As God is my witness, as God is my witness they’re not going to lick me. I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never be hungry again. No nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again”.

I write this blog post happy, happy about the friends I have not the ones that I used to have. I’m not going to say I lost them because that implies that I want to find them again; I don’t! So, why are we so consumed with the ones that have cleared off? You are consumed with anger, disillusionment and will find any opportunity to get it off your chest as though there is unfinished business. We’re all guilty of this waste of time and it truly is a waste!

When a friend hurts you or maybe has stabbed you in the back with their sharp tongue there is no point in giving them the time of day anymore is there? You try to figure how they could be this dis-loyal and for anyone that is just getting to know me loyalty is a massive thing; without it there is nothing to base a friendship on and I consider myself blessed with the friends I have now. So what are the traits of a good and bad friend?

‘You’re not my friend’

·         They talk about you behind your back; they have time on their hands!

·         They give you advise that will benefit them; always looking to maximize their popularity!

·         They only call you when they want something; they have so shame!

·         You don’t hear from them after you have given them that something; still no shame!

·         They never start a conversation by asking how you are; they don’t ask at the end either!

·         They have friends to suit every agenda; “Now who can I use today”?

·         They avoid you when you have a problem; they disappear off the face of the earth!

·         They resent anything good in your life; why you and not them!

·         They don’t try and stop you from doing something stupid; they want you to look stupid!

·         They will take advantage when you do; your cock-up is their pleasure in life!

‘Your BFF’

·         Will encourage you; You go girl!!

·         Will sense when something is wrong and find out what it is; they make it their mission!

·         Will not avoid a touchy subject; the touchier the better!

·         Will defend you; people better watch out!

·         They won’t judge you; everyone has a past and they don’t mind yours!

·         Are never too busy and make time; a text will do!

·         Understand when you want to be alone; they are patient!

·         Will have your back; they let everybody know!

·         Will warn you against doing something stupid; really stupid!

·         Will be there if you do it anyway; not so stupid!

·         Will read my blog posts and ask everyone to do the same!

My message, like all inspirational friendships is simple; know your BFF’s or you’ll forever be saying WTF; FFS!!!!

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

Hearing of pregnancies is always such a lovely thing and that kind of beautiful news always makes my day! It’s so exciting to know that the mother’s life is about to be enhanced in so many ways; then I got to thinking about the baby. No doubt, babies are loved and these sweet-smelling can’t take your eyes of them little bundles should be; but is a mothers love enough? It seems more and more women are opting to have babies without the fathers knowledge and opt out of telling ‘him’ that he will even be one.

The stories I hear are very personal from going off to a sperm bank spending hours choosing a donor from a colour coded catalogue; hair texture, height, education and eye colour. It’s like deciding on the right shade of pink for your bedroom with the help of swatches from your local hardware store. But children aren’t tins of paint and their shade shouldn’t even matter. As a single woman if you haven’t been lucky or blessed to meet a man who you know will be the perfect father to your children, doesn’t that tell you that there are other things that could fulfill your life? It’s a choice that I’m not sure about, it all seems a little manufactured to me and I’m sure these sperm banks are raking it in knowing that desperate people will pay for anything.

Accidents happen but Freud famously said, “There are no accidents in life”. What could this mean when you become pregnant? It’s up to both people to use some form of contraception, I mean there are two of you after all. But what happens when the woman wants to get pregnant and has no intention of telling him? People do what they want and what they feel is right for them, I’m not judging just trying to understand something that I find just a little strange and coldly underhanded. It troubles me that these women really believe a child doesn’t need a male figure in their life or are we conditioned socially into believing children need both?

I’m trying to see this from the eyes of a child, I was one once and if I put myself back in my kids shoes and pony tails what questions would I be asking as I grow up? I have lots of questions as any inquisitive child would but the one that stands out the most is. “Who is my daddy”? How will a mother answer that question and be able to give an answer that her child will understand and not blame her for? I thought I’d ask some women what they thought some said, “Good on them, they don’t need a man they can do it without”! Others said, “Every child needs a dad”. You can tell from these comments that every woman goes through very different experiences with men and the fathers of their own children; their answers tell a story which I’m sure you can work out for yourselves.

As for me, if I decide on a man to father OUR children he’ll be the first to know…

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013