How do you make the best out of an uncomfortable situation? How do you jump out from your cosy bed in the morning without hitting the snooze button more than once? How do we get rid of the ‘acceptable’ form of bullying that is The Jeremy Kyle Show and others like it from polluting the TV airwaves with mind-numbing stories that have nothing to do with us? It’s true that we don’t have to watch, but really, when did friends and family ripping each other to pieces become modern-day entertainment? Are you entertained? I know I’m not!
You’ve probably guessed by the introduction to my latest blog post that I’ve been thinking about the age we are living in, this age of acceptance and being thankful for everything we have including the stuff that resembles a dark cloud hovering over us. I also ask myself, “Did I find this grey mess that follows me everywhere or did it find me?” The idea of attraction bothers me and I believe it is misguiding people into believing that everything is their fault when actually, in my opinion, there are others who completely avoid taking any responsibility because we are cunningly duped and cajoled into laying the blame at our own door.
It’s not easy remaining positive as we look for ways to empower each other but it is essential if we want a moment of peace in the present and hope for what’s around the corner. A lifetime of balance is a little harder to achieve and there will be those, who, with only reasons known to themselves, intent on weaving their tangled web of negativity around our once free space. So recently I’ve been telling myself to be thankful but giving thanks to the things that cause me untold grief and agony doesn’t feel right or good for me. Do these negatives that stick in my throat like a boiled sweet help me to move on? If like me, you find the mistreatment of others incomprehensible, it takes longer to cough up the sticky alien and spit it out.
It goes without saying that I am thankful for my family, my health and the friends who no matter how far or busy they are I can feel by my side; I know who they are now. The thing however, which I am most thankful for is my ability and right to choose. I choose not to be thankful for the people and situations which make me feel worthless, I choose not to be within a whisker of negative forces, weakening and gradually squashing my confidence, I choose not to be grateful for the nonsense that keeps me awake at night for the wrong reasons; I choose sleep. I choose not to watch daytime TV.
The more I think, observe and mull it all over the more I notice that the imbalance of many lives today is caused by accepting everything without question; a convincing theory that makes us better people??! Believe that and you’ll believe anything.
On your daily Google search, do you find thought-provoking quotes harder to come by? I’ve struggled to find ones that either make me giggle or think, “Nice one”!! So when I do discover what I see as a gem, I become quite giddy with ideas, planning my next blog post to pay homage to a few words that gave me a eureka moment. My most recent find was this, ‘Choose your lady wisely. She represents you.’
I was poised to write about how men see a lady, how men choose this vision in their minds to walk down the aisle, the red carpet or the garden path if she isn’t a lady in his eyes. After a very chatty ladies lunch (because even ladies love to eat) and after a belly full of fish n chips I decided to flip this quote and give it a makeover, if you will. ‘Choose your gentleman wisely. He represents you’.
Honestly, I nearly choked on my chips after hearing of un-gentlemanly methods used and of course, the question of do we attract them popped up like the pesky peas on my plate. Maybe the law of attraction is part of it but as I have written before, this only serves to make us look inside ourselves to take responsibility. I call this the law of letting someone else off, free, so they can do it again to someone else.
It is so important and healthy in any relationship for both to look at themselves, without ego, to change what isn’t working and most importantly to stop making someone feel like they are worthless. This has nothing to do with any law, quote or psalm but has everything to do with common sense and manners.
If he is treating you less like a lady and more like a doormat, do you think it’s ok for his feet to dirty your spirit? If she isn’t treating you like the gentleman you are, or are striving to be, why have the headache, why be close to someone who will embarrass you and make your efforts appear laughable?
What was interesting to me as we got to the profiteroles, was hearing how people who hurt you once have been allowed to creep back in. I have to say that the responsibility does fall on the person who re-opened the door. One of my friends always says, “Send them love and light”, I do, I send them love and enough light so they can see their way out! It can take a lot for me to see the light but when I do, there is no going back and I never have.
If someone has the ability to make you feel small, ashamed and wields their choice weapon of harsh words or actions intending to sabotage the hard work you have put into yourself, how can they be a true representation of you and why would you want them to be?