You’re a Nice Girl, But…

I got a very intriguing and out of the blue Tweet from a good friend of mine asking if I could write about something that had obviously got her feathers ruffled.  Not one to ignore the plea of a mate I’ll give it my best non-judgmental shot!

You date someone and YOU think it’s going well, then on the third dinner date he drops his seafood platter and says, “I’m not ready for dating but can we be friends? 

Anyone who has gone through this or something similar will have a lot of questions they will want to ask the ‘Dumper’ and you will be questioning yourself too…the ‘Dumped’! The all too predictable stages you will go through are:

Hell hath no fury like a woman who’s choked on her starter…

Why did you wait till the third date, you could have called me before?  I wouldn’t have put on my best Jimmy Choo’s!  Well, this all depends on what he said to you during those dates but ultimately they were only dates not a lifetime commitment.

You watch Embarrassing bodies for research purposes…

Even the most confident of people have their insecurities and will have an off day thinking that they weren’t good enough in some way. Just remember, you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but that doesn’t mean to say that you will never be someone’s Champagne Cocktail!

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…

  • He’s too busy; a woman is a nice distraction but a distraction all the same.  Men like to stay focused on business especially when they have a goal in mind.
  • He’s in ‘construction’; the fella that you’re dating could be more Tony Soprano than Tony Smith.
  • He’s married, going through a rough patch or separation and you are just what he thinks he needs to move on; what he didn’t bank on was the guilt that followed.  Perhaps he should have told you?  No perhaps about it, of course he should! But you don’t know the in’s and out’s and he will be going through more than you realise, he’s not ready…yet.
  • He just wants to have fun!  Well why not, he hasn’t promised to put a ring on it or tell you he wants you for his baby mamma…has he?

Honestly…

I could go on and on and on but who needs to waste more time working out a problem that turns your brains to mush and saps all your energy?  And they say women are hard to work out!  When someone opens the door to you it’s quite amazing but there can come a time when they slam it shut and in your face! It’s the ending that we find hard to come to terms with; no matter the gender or situation.  So he says he’d like to stay in touch, depending on the fella it means he’s either hoping it will fizzle out eventually or you really are someone he’d like to have as a friend.

One thing is certain,  if you want a lasting friendship try not to broadcast your private business on Twitter.  You’ll lose the right followers and gain the wrong ones.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

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