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Oh Julio…

April 9, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

“To all the girls I’ve loved before.” Yes, Julio Iglesias was glad they came along he dedicates this song to all the girls he’s loved before, all 3,000 of them…allegedly. Beating him with 8,000 women is a porter that worked at the Venetian Hotel in Vegas. I wonder what his talent was.

But have you ever heard a female singing about ALL the men she’s loved before? It sounds very romantic and acceptable when Julio expresses his gratitude and probably gets a pat on the back for his efforts. So how would it go down if a woman did the same?

Is it about numbers and how many you can bed (I’m being polite) or is it about experience and lots of it?

I hear people talk about about ‘intimate encounters’, the age of the people they talk about is given as a reason for the things they do. I think that’s partly the reason or maybe an excuse? I would say that experience and how you choose to deal with your actions has more to do with it than anything else. I know people in their 20’s who have had more experience than people in their 40’s…there are things I still don’t know!

I was 13 years old and friends at school started talking about sex. It seemed they knew what they were talking about, or did they?

Not having the confidence that some of my school friends had and feeling like they would laugh at me, I styled it out expertly not saying a word just throwing my head back with a giggle and thinking please, someone change the subject. Who’s number one in the charts? Who shot JR? Anything would have been better than this torture.

My confidence has grown since then so now I have no problem in saying, I never heard of that before, what is it? Now, if people laugh I laugh with them, my honesty and that fact that I have no issue at all with asking no matter how it sounds or seems is actually my saving grace.

Experience has taught me that.

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His and Hers

April 2, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

Times have changed and so have we, so much so that we fight against what is natural to us on a daily basis…we don’t even realise we are doing it. Equality is one thing but does that mean we don’t want a man to give up his seat on a train or open a door for us…ladies first?

Things have got confused if you ask me, and men are completely confused! The most debated argument after what came first, the chicken or the egg? Is who are better drivers, men or women? Why do we have to be better than each other though? Things have got a little too competitive between the sexes and women have proved that they are quite capable of doing a ‘man’s job’.

An independent woman is one thing and I guess most men like that but what happens when we become too masculine? In my opinion, the worst thing you can do to a man is make him feel inadequate.

If they can do something well, why would you want to try it yourself just to prove a point? Let them do it, your only creating more work for yourselves and I’m sure you all do enough already. I can hold my hands up and say I can’t reverse my car for love nor money and I don’t bother trying. I’d rather drive around the block a few times until I can drive into a space.

Seriously I’m shockingly bad! I save any embarrassing blushes by getting all philosophical, “I never go back only forward”. I have no problem with asking a man to do it for me, and I have a few times…I never said I was perfect and I don’t pretend to be.

I’ve never been one to burn my bra and I’m not trying to fly the flag of testosterone either, but I am saying that we should all take a step back, think and share.

There’s not a lot of sharing going on just a lot of fighting, fighting to come out on top or to be in control…controlling each other. I feel sad just writing that but in many cases it’s true. Recognise what someone is good at and more importantly what they love to do, support them and let them get on with it, why compete?

Trust me, you won’t get very far.

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Shhh…

March 25, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

So you want to hide something? That’s really what a secret is, but who do you trust to keep a secret for you?

Tread carefully and with caution as some things are best kept to yourself if you know what’s good for you. There are those that make it their mission to find out every detail and ‘dish the dirt’ at every opportunity. This is alien to me as the last thing I would want to do is ‘out’ someone. I have been told things that I will take to the grave, and people know that.

If someone asks you to keep something to yourself you should try to do just that. It may be unfair as they have now put you in an awkward position but trust is important. Every situation is different so this is where your judgement comes into play. If we think about it, the main reasons for keeping quiet are probably that you want to protect someone else’s feeling and if we are honest, our own too.

What are people’s motives for wanting to spill the beans? This is a minefield, if you know something that could potentially affect the way people live and are passionate about the rights of people in general then shout about it…there would be no stopping me that’s for certain. Envy, insecurity and the worst motive of all boredom would have people talking about affairs of the heart. Not theirs but other people’s, how sad.

So what should you do? Stay home, don’t go to work, have no friends, delete your Facebook account, speak to no one, look at no one…stop living! Please, you don’t have to stop doing the things I’ve just mentioned all because other people can’t help themselves.

The truth is you can’t stop them and you probably don’t want to stop what you do either even though your conscience is niggling at you. The angel on one shoulder is saying “Don’t do it” and the devil on the other shoulder is saying “Do it, do it”.

Such is life and human nature, there are some things you just can’t change…or hide.

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Me and my music

March 20, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

Music is the one thing I can rely on and many of us have a song or anthem that represents our lives. Sad songs that you play when you’ve been dumped “All by myself”, Gloria Gaynor with “I will survive” when you are passed the crying stage and are ready to cut up his clothes and throw them out of the window! Cyndi Lauper with “Girls just wanna have fun” when you are over it, and for him? Frank Sinatra with “I did it my way”, because they usually do…”that’s life” (Michael Buble)

One special memory I have is watching ‘Sunday night at the palladium’ with my mum. She understood English but couldn’t really speak it, so you can imagine our surprise when Roy Orbison came on stage and starting singing ‘Pretty Woman’, well he wasn’t the only one. My mum sang along with him and knew the song word for word, we stopped looking at Roy and just stared at her, opened mouthed, in complete shock but totally impressed with her, even more than we were all ready.

I first heard Reggae music thanks to my mum, Desmond Dekker’s “You can get it if you really want” and Jazz music from my dad, Louie Armstrong’s “What a wonderful world” was his favourite. Songs influence people and it wasn’t obvious to me then but now that I understand the lyrics to these songs, I realize that my parents had dreams and were dreamers, must be where I get it from.

It’s so hard to explain what you are feeling or going through at times, songs can act as your voice when you can’t find the words. Where would we be without great song writers? It seems they can really tap into what is real connecting with their listeners. They are listened to more than any politician that’s for sure and thank goodness!

Thank you to those voices that make us feel something, thank you to those song writers who somehow know what we all need to hear. And for all of you music lovers out there, sing if you can and sing if you can’t…who cares?

If you’re singing you’re winning!