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I asked my friends to tell me in just one word what makes them happy.  Some mentioned food, football, cats and movies; this is why I write.  They surprise me and quite often make me laugh with their ideas and no holds barred honesty. The people have spoken and have kindly given me much to think about for blog posts spanning the next month maybe more!  There was a word that came up a lot not just on its own but within a phrase or sentence that means so much to them that perhaps it’s the only thing that truly matters; LOVE!

Yep, that word comes up a lot and everyone has their own vision of love, but does your vision match that of another?  If it doesn’t then how can it be love?  To me love means being loyal, compassionate and unselfish whilst having the best interest of the other person at heart…who ever that might be.  The only way for love to manifest is if these ideals are mutual.  The sad thing is that most people convince themselves that they are and make allowances for the wrong person leaving themselves exposed to heartache.  But no one ever listened to a friend telling them they are looking like a fool; it’s when you start feeling like one that things start to change.

So what isn’t love?  Control has nothing to do with love; when someone stops you from doing something that is important to you simply because they don’t want you to grow.  This probably has more to do with their own fear that they might lose you but in truth it has more to do with the fact that they are envious of your spirit…never let them dampen yours.  If only they could be as enthusiastic as you in your hopes and dreams for the future, they are incapable and what’s more they are ignorant to the fact that they will lose you anyway…inevitable.

It isn’t rocket science really but you may find yourself going through this very thing.  I’ve been through it and had no doubt in my mind that I would walk eventually, and I did (more than once) I got to thinking how many people are there in the world and I subject myself to something or someone who makes me feel like I’m walking on egg shells?  I’d rather be walking on air thank you very much!  Some of you are lucky in love and have found instantly without the drama that one person who is willing to share, listen, encourage and support you.  Others will take the longer route but you learn things along the way; the trick is never to repeat the mistakes of the past otherwise it was all for nothing.

For me real love has no hidden agenda; it shouldn’t be about what’s in it for you, now that would be selfish wouldn’t it?  It’s a question that’s not easy to answer but being honest is the first step to love, in whatever form that may take.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

Sometimes, we say things in front of kids that perhaps we should have phrased in a different way and in some cases shouldn’t have said at all.  We underestimate how their brains process things and how they are able to reach a conclusion using ‘pure’ thoughts before the ‘murky’ ones that cloud the brain in our adulthood creep in.

There we were, a room full of women talking about life, relationships and what to do with both.  As we are women, the subject of men came into the mix…in the words of Brad Pitt; ‘Inevitable’.

The question that came up was what should come first, a bit like the chicken or the egg.  A man or a life?  We didn’t get too personal or graphic as there was a 12-year-old present, just a bit of mindful banter.

The 12-year-old was my nephew who said, “You need to have your own life first and then you’ll find a man who will build a life with you…together”.

Dominic is the only male of the species I know that is able to silence a room full of women.  Who ever he chooses to build a life with will be a very lucky girl.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

‘Melissa’

The name Melissa comes from the Greek meaning ‘honey bee’.

According the Greek mythology, Melissa was one of the nymphs who nursed Zeus as a baby.  But instead of giving him the usual milk, Melissa fed him honey (Meli in Greek)

Legend has it that the bees would bring the honey straight to Zeus’ mouth.  As a result, Melissa became the name of all the nymphs who cared for Zeus as an infant; the father of all the Gods and God of the sky and thunder.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

There I was, walking home and minding my own business when I saw an elderly gent lying flat on the cold icy ground trying to get up.  Instinctively I ran over to him giving no thought for my own safety in these recent treacherous weather conditions; which I’m sure is what most people would do right?  I bent down and asked if he was alright.   A stupid thing to say especially as you already know that the person your asking is far from dandy; but you say it anyway.

He looked up at me and said, “Do I look alright?”  There, he proved my point.  Red faced and stinking of booze, it was apparent that he’d had an afternoon tipple or two, it smelt to me like he drank the pub dry.  My sympathy stopped right there and I said, “You look alright to me”!  Still, I couldn’t leave him and I asked if he wanted me to help him up.  “Do I look like I need help?” was his slurred reply.

I was getting nowhere with this fella,  stubborn as a mule  and pissed as a fart!  I was in more trouble than he was, my conscience was telling me to stay by his side, you know that voice in your head that tells you how guilty you will feel if you don’t do the right thing.  Lucky or not so lucky depending on how you look at it, I’ve seen this kind of thing before so I knew that with all that drink in him he probably didn’t feel the fall no sense no feeling, all that malt would have warmed him up a treat and judging by his beetroot complexion he needed cooling off!

So I walked.  Do I feel bad? Not really, but I do hope he’s alright…I sincerely do.   I tried my best and that’s all anyone can do…isn’t it?  Some people just don’t want to be helped, maybe he was proud as well as paralytic, he was of an age where he wouldn’t want someone younger and a woman to boot to help him.   Perhaps the white van man who watched all this as he got out of his rust bucket should have helped ME.  Hmmm…

So should we go out of our way to help?  Is it going out of our way or just part of life’s journey, something we all have to experience?  You won’t know how you will act until the moment shows itself, your safety above all else should be your primary thought if possible.  I have come across many who use help as a guise in order to gain something for themselves;  I see it daily and it’s something I can’t get my head around.

Is it your business to help?  Make it your business;  if you’re not wanted the drunken fool will tell you.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

“Everyman must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness”

Martin Luther King Jr.