Category: Uncategorized

Don’t be fooled into thinking that men don’t feel things the way women do. It’s just that we tend to display our emotions in dramatic fashion…floods of tears being top of the list. This means we care more? Not so. Men may appear aloof and cold when hurt but that’s a defense mechanism that comes naturally for a man. It’s in their nature, nothing wrong with something that comes naturally but we have difficulty in reminding ourselves that both sexes are made in very different ways.

Women are a lot more open to taking chances even when there is a niggling doubt about a relationship or liaison we are about to begin we go with it anyway. We are far more willing to trust the side of the person that is good. It isn’t always the case that we want to change a man but we are accepting of the traits that aren’t so endearing…no one’s perfect right. Usually if you see there is a heart and generosity (I don’t mean him spending money on you) you have found a firm base on which to start.

I have had interesting conversations with men and in particular those who have been through divorces (some more than once) the message is that they have had their fingers burnt emotionally and financially; because of this a meaningful relationship is not in their future plans. What a shame, everyone deserves that special someone, they or you may not think it now but I believe that it’s a basic human need for anything with a heartbeat and to fight it means going against your natural instincts.

So what’s the consequence? More women remain single, good women that men are missing out on and they know it. So what would these reluctant men rather do? Virtual flirting…Skype and now Tinder! Yes people, I know us girls like to chat but this takes on a whole new meaning. These men are thinking this is easy, have a chat with a virtual blonde or brunette on his terms; no swapping of telephone numbers, no chance of bumping into her in Tesco and the only way to speak to her is by firing up the laptop yourself…complete control. No way of getting hurt again…result!!

Oh fellas! I’m not knocking it I get it, I understand why; but you’re missing out on so much and what’s more so are we. There are many levels of the human touch and it is an integral part of our development starting with the day of our birth yet it seems to me that there is a lack of it now and this could be the root cause of all the suffering that goes on in our technological and ‘busy’ world today. Why avoid touch like it’s the new plague refusing its symptoms for fear it could lead you to an early grave?

Could the habitual avoidance of human touch be the reason for so many people living life the single way? I’m stunned at how fearful people are of even giving it a chance. Half don’t want the potential connotations that touch could potentially bring whilst the other half really don’t mind giving it a go and will gladly accept whatever follows; hoping for the best. So we are stuck, both sides so far removed from one another making any form of real connection virtually impossible.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

I have a very interesting accessory on my wrist which has become something of a mystery to my friends and family. A good friend of mine gave me a white ribbon which had been blessed at a church in Bahia Brazil. According to tradition, you must make a wish when the ribbon has been tied to your wrist and that wish will come true when the ribbon falls away. Well, that was two years ago and this ribbon which has now become an unrecognizable piece of rag is still attached to me; I can’t even remember what I wished for it’s that long ago!

Knowing me at that time it was probably a logical and simple wish like being happy. Not a big ask is it, yet it can be like reaching up for something  on a high shelf. You climb up on a chair for that teasing pot of smooth Peanut Butter and if you’re lucky the chair won’t wobble, but what happens if you go flying and have no choice but to acquire a taste for Marmite? Should you risk getting back up on that chair or find yourself the longest ladder you can find?

I hear so many people say that feeling complete will bring them the happiness that they crave for and that another person would make them feel complete. Really, I’m not convinced about laying the responsibility at the door of another as it implies that you can’t be whole if there is just you. In Greek Mythology the first humans were created with 4 arms, 4 legs, 4 eyes, 2 noses and 2 mouths.  Afraid of their power Zeus split them in half leaving them to find the other half of themselves…SOUL MATES.

I believe in soul mates and if one day you find your other half then that’s great but I reckon in the meantime meeting people who will compliment you  not complete you are far more special. Complete seems so final but finding people you get on with on a spiritual and intellectual level has so much more going for it and not forgetting humour; sharing jokes and banter is soul enhancing! There is so much emphasis on how we begin and where we want to end up that we become blind to the importance of the middle bit; it’s like eating a jam doughnut only to find that the raspberry filling is missing…empty and devoid of any real substance.

Who wants to feel like a doughnut?

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

The Hydrangea is a plant native to countries such as Japan, China, the mystical mountains of the Himalayas and Edmonton North London! Forgive my sarcastic tone as I have so obviously exclaimed that Edmonton isn’t as fragrant in sight or smell as some of the other destinations I’ve mentioned but I’m sure as you read on you will understand my reason for this.

Imagine a suburban garden laced with sleepy lavender and Hydrangea bushes in full majestic bloom; a little haven of tranquillity and escape for my cousin (The other Shelly) who marvels in their beauty each morning as she sips her first cup of Yorkshire Tea. Now imagine whilst at work, Shelly receives a phone call with the devastating news that some random fella came along and mercilessly cut down her bush!

The Bush Hacker of Edmonton knocks on the door and Shelly’s mum Auntie Gina, answers and he says, “Your blooms are lovely, can I cut a couple to take home”? Auntie Gina is a 74-year old woman who remembers what it was like to trust your neighbours and not lend them some sugar but give it to them. “Of course you can”, she says and goes back to her morning dose of Jeremy Kyle. Not the crime of the century so you won’t find a helicopter hovering over the area as is usual when tracking down herb or plant ‘enthusiasts’ in that area. But still…

The Bush Hacker of Edmonton didn’t just clip one or two of these pink blooms that elegantly transform into rich russet; no he cuts the lot…the bush had been stripped naked. How is it so easy for people to stunt the growth of something so beautiful without a conscience? Do they have any idea how long it takes for roots to be embedded deep enough for you to stand strong? Why would anyone want to cut the abundant petals as they start to appear? And how can you rip away something that is blooming lovely?

It is unimaginable to me that there are those who instead of becoming beautiful themselves would rather hack away at others making them feel ugly and indeed replace their floral view with barren twigs; stiff, dull and in desperate need of nourishment to grow once more. Well, the magic of growth is that all living things do in good time, so I say let the ‘Hackers’ revel in their own manure… those that flourish with purity will acquire a sweeter aroma.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

“I adore you”! You do? Why? Self-doubt seems to be an epidemic of massive proportions and at some time in our lives we all suffer from this soul suffocating disease. You may be surprised at how many people actually feel like they are not worthy of love, a chance, a future and peace of mind. Chaos is the main symptom of self-doubt, chaos that resulted from a childhood with the absence of freedom and innocence and chaos that is transferred from others whose insecurities are passed off as yours; why shouldn’t you feel as bad as they do right???

For me, self-doubt stems from my childhood and the day I came home after passing a really important exam; with a skip in my step I was really looking forward to sharing the news with my dad. I only got one question wrong in the exam I worked so hard to pass, so imagine how I felt when he ignored the fact that I achieved my goal and all he could say was, “Why did you get a question wrong”? I was a girl who hung on her dads every word and wanted to make him happy but it seems I did fail and for any child this is crushing.

I am able to reflect on things in a more positive way now and I think that secretly he was really pleased but as a child you don’t  have the insight to understand what people are really thinking yet you are convinced by their words which are even more damaging. Doubting your abilities affects your future and you are vigorously thrown off course wondering if the dreams you built up in your head are as realistic as you imagined them to be.

So what do you do? You become a hairdresser…well that’s my story! Yep, you cut, create and become a counsellor to the patient sitting in the salon chair. I look back on those days with fondness as these women that came in to be beautified gave me so much writing material with their life stories; how could I have known that then? As I cut and coloured I would go off in a world of my own, always thinking. You see beneath all that doubt and peroxide I knew there was something else waiting to be unleashed, it’s called self-belief.

That self-belief manifests as long as you keep moving, attempt to understand and knowing when to walk away from something that makes you feel like doubt is creeping back in. My journey from hairspray to harmony was a sticky one but it was eventful and those moments meant something even the ones that I’d rather forget.

Writing is a form of movement and as I write this I am reminded of my first client as a budding hairdresser. Gilda Cohen played the midget in the 1980 classic film The Elephant Man. She was so small that I had to lift her on the salon chair; that’s what you call customer service! Funny how I once supported an actress and now I find myself supporting the film industry by writing reviews, that I hope, will encourage others to watch too. I wouldn’t have believed it if you had told me that’s what I’d be doing…I believe it now.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013