Look But Don’t Touch: The Modern Man?

Don’t be fooled into thinking that men don’t feel things the way women do. It’s just that we tend to display our emotions in dramatic fashion…floods of tears being top of the list. This means we care more? Not so. Men may appear aloof and cold when hurt but that’s a defense mechanism that comes naturally for a man. It’s in their nature, nothing wrong with something that comes naturally but we have difficulty in reminding ourselves that both sexes are made in very different ways.

Women are a lot more open to taking chances even when there is a niggling doubt about a relationship or liaison we are about to begin we go with it anyway. We are far more willing to trust the side of the person that is good. It isn’t always the case that we want to change a man but we are accepting of the traits that aren’t so endearing…no one’s perfect right. Usually if you see there is a heart and generosity (I don’t mean him spending money on you) you have found a firm base on which to start.

I have had interesting conversations with men and in particular those who have been through divorces (some more than once) the message is that they have had their fingers burnt emotionally and financially; because of this a meaningful relationship is not in their future plans. What a shame, everyone deserves that special someone, they or you may not think it now but I believe that it’s a basic human need for anything with a heartbeat and to fight it means going against your natural instincts.

So what’s the consequence? More women remain single, good women that men are missing out on and they know it. So what would these reluctant men rather do? Virtual flirting…Skype and now Tinder! Yes people, I know us girls like to chat but this takes on a whole new meaning. These men are thinking this is easy, have a chat with a virtual blonde or brunette on his terms; no swapping of telephone numbers, no chance of bumping into her in Tesco and the only way to speak to her is by firing up the laptop yourself…complete control. No way of getting hurt again…result!!

Oh fellas! I’m not knocking it I get it, I understand why; but you’re missing out on so much and what’s more so are we. There are many levels of the human touch and it is an integral part of our development starting with the day of our birth yet it seems to me that there is a lack of it now and this could be the root cause of all the suffering that goes on in our technological and ‘busy’ world today. Why avoid touch like it’s the new plague refusing its symptoms for fear it could lead you to an early grave?

Could the habitual avoidance of human touch be the reason for so many people living life the single way? I’m stunned at how fearful people are of even giving it a chance. Half don’t want the potential connotations that touch could potentially bring whilst the other half really don’t mind giving it a go and will gladly accept whatever follows; hoping for the best. So we are stuck, both sides so far removed from one another making any form of real connection virtually impossible.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

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