Category: Uncategorized

Relationships can take a lifetime to build and a moment to break. The most complicated of these relationships but essential is that of a man and a woman. So why is it something that we can’t live without?

It’s a basic human need that many try to fight off. Singletons will say, “I like being on my own, no one to cook for, no one hogging the bathroom in the morning, no one taking up the entire sofa, no one fidgeting annoyingly because you are watching a movie they hate”. But you have no one! No one to share the sofa with, no one to cry or laugh with when you are watching a movie, no one to share a bath with and no one to tell you that you make a mean spag bol!

Does the love of your life truly exist? I believe he or she is out there, even though at times, I have my doubts. I wonder what it feels like to meet someone who feels sure about you. No more game playing or passing the time, the text you send and check your phone every minute for a reply, you comment on their Facebook status and stare at the blue and white screen hoping that they will say something back. Women reply to everything, men are more likely to hold back. A hint perhaps, that they are keeping their distance for a reason.

You won’t know what that reason is you’ll just have to guess (maybe you already know the answer) Us women, we get such a buzz from male attention.; you remove every bit of unwanted hair just in case, lose a few pounds from the butterflies in your stomach, a spring in your step that a 100 meter runner can only dream of and become all giggly with a glint in your eye that says…here I am!! Pupils dilate and the twirling of your hair with newly manicured fingers is a giveaway; you’re not even aware of what you are doing.

Human behaviour; psychologists, doctors and Professor Robert Winston have spent years studying our emotions, signals and actions. Respected members of the medical profession, dedicated in their pursuit of understanding Adam and Eve. American comedian, author and writer George Carlin saw things from a different perspective.

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” – George Carlin

Agree or disagree, that’s your choice. No one is wrong but someone will come along and be right.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2014

I often wonder about going to a random train station and jumping on a train to ‘who knows where.’ Who knows where is a destination shrouded in mystery and anticipation for the traveller about to enter its borders and I for one wouldn’t mind taking this heady trip; as long as I have air in my lungs I’m breathing, isn’t that all I need? You see when you have a feeling that something isn’t quite right it can be so hard to explain, you are encouraged to see what you do have instead of what you don’t making you seem selfish.

I am grateful for so many blessings in my life but this isn’t about the things I have or the people around me, I know who they are; I notice and love them even if I seem detached at times. This is about something that goes deeper, there is a level of consciousness that speaks louder than any conversation you have with a partner, sister, brother or friend. Something is missing, you know it and the people who love you know it too yet they remind you of all the good things anyway. How can you be positive all the time when it isn’t how you’re feeling?

I honestly think that forced positivity will cause a lot more damage. It seems to me that we read a quote that lifts our spirits for a moment, for a few seconds we feel alright? Does this make me negative? I am a realist and I know the only way for positive thoughts to have any kind of rightful place in my mind is to understand the negative; only then can I start the cleansing process. Be happy anyway they say, but why? You would be cheating yourself and anyone you meet will never really know the real you, just the fake one.

Sounds like I’m anti-positivity doesn’t it. I’m far from  being against a state of mind that brings us calm and balance; I just don’t think we should hide behind it. It will come but only if the fears, worries, angst and hurt we have are dealt with. A relationship has ended, your way of dealing with it is to find another, you have an unexpected fall out with a friend so you think making new friends will help you to move on. These are just two scenarios where you have given yourself no time to come to terms with loss and to heal. As a result, you are not a true representation of yourself.

As much as we try to figure out why people have thrown us under a bus we avoid asking questions of ourselves. It’s not a blame game, more a time for going on a self-awareness quest. Taking responsibility for our own actions is the hardest thing to do but when you ask yourself the unthinkable, you allow space for the unimaginable….happiness.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2014

On a clear night in smoky London, I seem to be drawn to my window as if being pulled by some invisible force making me look. The first thing I see as my eyes rise up to the midnight blue sky is a star that shines like no other. Bigger than the others that faintly twinkle, in front of me, as though it has decided to settle there for my viewing pleasure every time there is a night like this.

I hope you can all see it too, it’s quite something. I can’t help but be in awe of these celestial gems and wonder if they are just cosmic particles floating in outer space or if they are the souls of those we have loved and lost telling us that they are still with us; how many pull back the lined curtains in order to acknowledge their existence?

The loss of anyone in their physical form is indescribable and not easily explained to anyone who hasn’t been through that kind of pain. After a long and arduous journey, I have reached a place where dreading the word goodbye has been replaced with gratitude; thankful that I was given the opportunity to say hello.

When someone leaves, we always say it was too soon, we didn’t have enough time and as we ponder over our misfortune, we are in danger of overlooking the footprints they left behind. Life should be celebrated and as long as we continue to breathe it is up to us to learn and even pass on the lessons which through confusion and distractions can be easily forgotten; unless you reflect.

I know too well how much this can hurt and after losing both parents can understand how reflection is like someone pulling you back to a place you don’t want to revisit when time and experiences will bring you back anyway. It’s inevitable, as you get to know yourself with thought and expression that the unexpected epiphanies will come enabling you to finally acknowledge the obvious.

Is it all as scary as it sounds? As someone who has had more than a few mind and life altering moments, I can honestly say that looking up at the night sky isn’t as bad as first imagined and as I write this blog post, I am reliably informed the name of the star inspiring me is Venus, named after the Roman goddess of love; if she shines there’s nothing to be afraid of.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

‘Venus favours the bold’ – Ovid

Stories are told every day, I’m a sucker for a good story. The most memorable for me are those of acts of kindness. The way people jump into deep water to save someone from drowning without a second thought, survivors of natural disaster’s here to tell of their harrowing experience because someone was brave enough to save them…courageous people; all of them. My blog would not exist had it not been for one of these hero’s.

It was the early 70’s and people were more trusting than they are now. My mum and auntie were inside a shop and left me outside in my pram…I was just a few months old.  It was a windy winter’s day in North London and someone forgot to put the pram break on. A gust of wind blew the pram (with me in it) into the middle of the road; under to the traffic lights in fact. An elderly gent braved the oncoming cars and took me back to the safe arms of my mum, who had no clue of the drama I had caused on the street. He saved my life!  Maybe that sounds dramatic but it’s the truth!

If we think about the near misses some of us have had, surely that must mean that we are meant for this life; good or bad we need to stick around and learn so many lessons. So who are these angels that appear from nowhere with acts of kindness that can change your life’s path forever, where did they appear from, where are they now and why help us? In a world where narcissism is arguably the biggest epidemic of the 20th century how is it still possible for humility to exist?

So many questions that we may never know the answers too. I think everyone has the capacity to help others; big or small, your actions or words can make a positive difference to someone. You may only realize the significance of these messages when you reflect on the past events in your life. Be under no illusion, not all signs and signals come from an angelic place; your ultimate test is to recognize the pure from the impure. Not an easy task, as often, the ulterior motives and self-centred actions of others will be the biggest lesson learned.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013