So you think you’re ugly? Most of us do at some point in our lives and it seems age doesn’t really matter when you feel this way which is why I was guided to this video. A video which reminded me how I felt as a girl and adolescent. I could never take a compliment, could never look someone in the eye when they paid me one, didn’t believe them when they told me I was pretty and would always reply by saying, “No I’m not”.
The struggles of a Greek girl were real though! The mono-brow I wasn’t allowed to pluck and a hairy top lip, ginger in appearance after my cousins introduced me to bleaching; what a stunner!
The struggle still goes on but it is a little different. When a medical problem challenges you by changing the way you look even slightly, you have to find once more, the confidence to say ‘thank you’ after a compliment which you know deep inside to be honest and true.
I recently became the proud owner of a wonky eye, this is what I call it because I have to turn every hurdle into a joke and find that self-deprecation is my only medicine. It’s a coping mechanism which my friends and family know all too well. Luckily, I know my worth, wonky eye or no wonky eye I can still see out of it which is all that really matters and I am well past worrying about what others see when they look at me. What other people think of me is their business, not mine.
The female bond rarely breaks and if it does creates a pain that is indescribable. It can take years to separate those with an agenda and the ones who have no other motive other to be sincere in every aspect of your friendship. After watching James Franco and Seth Rogan in Pineapple Express it occurred to me that Bromance is no different but of course it’s all about male bonding. There is however something that links the two; unselfish behavior. The truth is we would do anything for each other even if it means being brutally honest…tough love.
I can’t imagine being without the women in my life now. Each embark on different journey’s and find ways to include their female friends and family in the hope that we all grow and benefit together. In the past, this was not always the case and for every male hating, he did me wrong quote on Facebook, nothing surpasses those that describe the sometimes brutal and selfish motives from one woman to another. A real woman is unselfish; turning your disadvantage to her advantage is an alien concept to her.
Opposites do attract and the film Steel Magnolias is for me the best example of this. Sexy, cranky, eccentric, geek, and troubled. Each character fascinated by the other and wishing they had just an ounce of their friend’s unique qualities themselves. So the next best thing is to surround yourself with a joker who thinks of ways to get you laughing even when you don’t feel like it, someone to feed your mind with interesting facts you’ve never heard before, someone who isn’t scared of taking chances when all you do is dream about doing something that’s out of character and someone brazen enough to display her ample cleavage wearing a skirt way above her knees with complete confidence.
There will be fights, yes there are plenty of them and they are usually born from frustration, passion and men. We don’t fight over men but there will always be one of your friends who’ll refuse to hold back and tell you straight what a fool you look. Deep down you know it’s all true but you do it anyway; she will say I told you so, another will tell you to get back on the horse you fell from there are plenty more where he came from and the shoulder to cry on? You know, the one that cry’s with you and provides the medicinal ice cream in the hope it will cure you.
We create a circle that can’t be broken by anyone but us, if you feel as though your fingers are slipping and you stop holding hands just for a moment the circle collapses; you collapse too. Both sexes are sentimental another trait we have in common and it’s true that we sometimes get distracted but all we have to do is remember those who stopped us from tumbling down and if at some point in our lives we fall with a thud those who extended their hand to pull us back up again.
Remember the good old days when people said sorry? The days when you didn’t have to look ‘inside yourself’ and ask why YOU attracted it? (whatever IT might be) Now, we live in a world where God forbid you blame someone else or expect the person/people who have thrown you under a bus to be accountable.
Further more, after ‘looking inside yourself’, you are now being encouraged to ‘let it go’? This new Frozen mantra leaves me a bit cold and frost bites! I have had more than my share of ice-cold stabbing pains in the past four years and am amazed at the lengths people will travel to avoid an apology; hoping they can count on my dislike for confrontation to save them from reasoning their shifty actions.
Before anyone can let anything go, they need to hear the words, “I’m sorry”. As an expert in being dropped from a great height by the most unexpected sources, it wouldn’t go a miss. For all the wrong that people do (and they know what those wrongs are) how difficult can saying one word really be?
Sorry really does seem to be the hardest word for some as they carry on regardless in a deluded haze, believing that they won’t ever have to. Blame is now considered to be a strong word, stronger than the ‘F’ word even. When did this happen and why is a perfectly acceptable word now seen as the new expletive?
Maybe this all boils down to what is right and wrong on a moral level. The values which you were probably brought up with but have conveniently forgot in order to get what you want in this dog eat dog world?
It’s a bit like my daily commute to work and the fight for a seat like a stand-off in a spaghetti western. A seat becomes free and I walk, not run, towards it. A man sees the same seat and scurry’s in a weasel like fashion to sit his butt down before me. He gets there before I do but the adrenaline filled steps he takes flop as he does on the seat. I stand in front of him, taller and without breaking a sweat to ruin my morning make-up.
Man, woman or child, everyone is entitled to a seat on the train and how you get it is up to you. As for this seat grabber, if what he did was right, why did he sheepishly keep his head down for the entire journey? Unable to look up, he was the one sweating.