ego – She Be Fierce

Researching for clients and friends is one of my favorite things to do. It allows me to understand who they are on a deeper level and what makes them tick. These searches are usually positive and help me expand my knowledge of topics I know very little about and introduce me to unfamiliar worlds. However, there have been times when finding the unexpected turns my brain cells into emotional mush instead of mindful magic.

You are crazy if you think you can hide everything on the internet and deluded if your ego persuades you that nothing will ever be found. The power behind someones finger tips as they write their story or profile can breathe life into you or knock it out like a heavy-weight punch! What is inevitably unearthed can make or break you (if you allow it) and not for the first time, the universe and stars that twinkle from it, grouped together with a celestial lesson for me to learn; this time in the form of a phenomenal woman who reached 102 years of age, just a year older than my Grandmother who passed at the age of 101.

When I reach a grand old age (I believe that I will) will I look back on my life with a smile on my face? A wonderful life that I would want to re-live again and tap my feet to its beautiful music? And, the question that is unshakable in my mind;

“Was I able to live with myself?”

For those of you who don’t know, I am a fierce football fan and Arsenal football club are my beloved team. I am a believer in greatness and it is something I was fortunate enough to witness with our ‘Invincibles’ team of the 2003/4 English Premier League season. A team that complimented each other so well, a delight to watch, but has also burdened us with an expectation from all footballs quarters to do it again and again without a bad performance in between.

Frustratingly for many of my fellow supporters we had an 8 year gap of nothing especially great at all. I was watching a recent game which suggested everything is falling into place now and that either the stars have aligned over the Emirates Stadium or the vision of our manager called for us to have patience as we waited longingly for the best to come back.

His obvious to me goal, made me think of all the talented people I have come across, who have a similar way of thinking even though their chosen field of play is very different. There are sacrifices on this tunnel visioned road and there will be casualties on the lay-by and sanity is strenuously tested as they hold strong the belief that they know where they are headed. I am always in awe of this strength of character even if at times it can be perceived as selfish, stubborn, egotistical and detached.

Quick fixes are a misleading answer and it is a sadness that our world today bullies its inhabitants into being a cheaper version of themselves and not a priceless one. The pressure to have it all in the time it takes you to brush your teeth is immense and the impatience to obtain all that you seek will come with false friends who don’t believe in you in the long-term.

The word itself ‘greatness’ suggests that its meaning is vast and bigger than we can ever imagine. Greatness to me is allowing someone the room to breathe and discover as I know through personal experience how constraints can lead us to simply exist and not live. Allowing people space and freedom implies that you are ready for greatness too. It is a characteristic that, in this ME ME ME age, is a rarity. Maybe one day, it will be popular again.

‘One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals’

Michelle Obama