She Be Fierce

On a clear night in smoky London, I seem to be drawn to my window as if being pulled by some invisible force making me look. The first thing I see as my eyes rise up to the midnight blue sky is a star that shines like no other. Bigger than the others that faintly twinkle, in front of me, as though it has decided to settle there for my viewing pleasure every time there is a night like this.

I hope you can all see it too, it’s quite something. I can’t help but be in awe of these celestial gems and wonder if they are just cosmic particles floating in outer space or if they are the souls of those we have loved and lost telling us that they are still with us; how many pull back the lined curtains in order to acknowledge their existence?

The loss of anyone in their physical form is indescribable and not easily explained to anyone who hasn’t been through that kind of pain. After a long and arduous journey, I have reached a place where dreading the word goodbye has been replaced with gratitude; thankful that I was given the opportunity to say hello.

When someone leaves, we always say it was too soon, we didn’t have enough time and as we ponder over our misfortune, we are in danger of overlooking the footprints they left behind. Life should be celebrated and as long as we continue to breathe it is up to us to learn and even pass on the lessons which through confusion and distractions can be easily forgotten; unless you reflect.

I know too well how much this can hurt and after losing both parents can understand how reflection is like someone pulling you back to a place you don’t want to revisit when time and experiences will bring you back anyway. It’s inevitable, as you get to know yourself with thought and expression that the unexpected epiphanies will come enabling you to finally acknowledge the obvious.

Is it all as scary as it sounds? As someone who has had more than a few mind and life altering moments, I can honestly say that looking up at the night sky isn’t as bad as first imagined and as I write this blog post, I am reliably informed the name of the star inspiring me is Venus, named after the Roman goddess of love; if she shines there’s nothing to be afraid of.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

‘Venus favours the bold’ – Ovid

Stories are told every day, I’m a sucker for a good story. The most memorable for me are those of acts of kindness. The way people jump into deep water to save someone from drowning without a second thought, survivors of natural disaster’s here to tell of their harrowing experience because someone was brave enough to save them…courageous people; all of them. My blog would not exist had it not been for one of these hero’s.

It was the early 70’s and people were more trusting than they are now. My mum and auntie were inside a shop and left me outside in my pram…I was just a few months old.  It was a windy winter’s day in North London and someone forgot to put the pram break on. A gust of wind blew the pram (with me in it) into the middle of the road; under to the traffic lights in fact. An elderly gent braved the oncoming cars and took me back to the safe arms of my mum, who had no clue of the drama I had caused on the street. He saved my life!  Maybe that sounds dramatic but it’s the truth!

If we think about the near misses some of us have had, surely that must mean that we are meant for this life; good or bad we need to stick around and learn so many lessons. So who are these angels that appear from nowhere with acts of kindness that can change your life’s path forever, where did they appear from, where are they now and why help us? In a world where narcissism is arguably the biggest epidemic of the 20th century how is it still possible for humility to exist?

So many questions that we may never know the answers too. I think everyone has the capacity to help others; big or small, your actions or words can make a positive difference to someone. You may only realize the significance of these messages when you reflect on the past events in your life. Be under no illusion, not all signs and signals come from an angelic place; your ultimate test is to recognize the pure from the impure. Not an easy task, as often, the ulterior motives and self-centred actions of others will be the biggest lesson learned.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

They say variety is the spice of life and a pinch of just about everything will do you good, I didn’t think that when I went to my first abs class. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a believer in exercise and its undoubted ability to make me feel quite happy as well as tone the parts my office chair can’t reach. I crunched and planked my way through a 45 minute session and when the music slowed down, I thought, finally, we’re coming to the end; the instructor had different ideas to mine.

She fooled me and backed up the tape, my fears of doing the same thing over and over became a reality. Nicole Sherzinger’s ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’ reverberated in my ears like torture; I nearly held my breath but gripped the edges of my floor mat instead. These repetitive yet necessary movements for the abs I’ve always wanted led to an epiphany as I lay on the studio floor; oh the monotony of it all!

Doing the same thing each day is alright if you enjoy it and feel contented; but what if you feel that it’s getting you nowhere? Nowhere is a lonely, uninhabited place and the reason you are there is habit. We all have habits and have adopted them for many reasons, mainly because we thought they were a good idea at the time.

We are so hooked that we believe how we do things is part of our character and that we shouldn’t change. It takes courage to admit that you have to let go of certain actions and your thinking. What happens when you do is quite amazing, I mean as long as you’re breathing what’s the worst that can happen if you do?

Those that have taken the time to understand and know you will be relieved that you have seen the new light yourself, will continue to have your back and become as excited as you about your future; the downside is that you will notice some confusion from others who will feel that your sudden decision to switch things a little doesn’t suit them. This is when you also break another habit, refusing to acknowledge friends or sadly family who are insincere.

You can go on two things when wanting to try something different, logic and feeling. The logical approach is like using a Sat Nav to guide you and if by some reason you get lost you can always blame this new technology and the people who made it. Going on gut instinct means you choose to read a map or at least try to, if you take one wrong turn because you can’t tell a motorway from a dual carriage way it’s your fault, no one else to shout at when you’re driving around and around in unfamiliar territory; but what a euphoric moment when YOU find the right road…yes YOU!

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

‘If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It’s lethal’ – Paul Coelho

The female bond rarely breaks and if it does creates a pain that is indescribable. It can take years to separate those with an agenda and the ones who have no other motive other to be sincere in every aspect of your friendship. After watching James Franco and Seth Rogan in Pineapple Express it occurred to me that Bromance is no different but of course it’s all about male bonding. There is however something that links the two; unselfish behaviour. The truth is we would do anything for each other even if it means being brutally honest…tough love.

I can’t imagine being without my girls. Each personality is different from the other but somehow we all mould into one. No one will fight with more heart for you and whilst others will listen your girls will hear you; people will tell you that they understand but your brothers and sisters will give it to you straight. Harsh at times, they know they wouldn’t be a true friend if they turned a blind eye.

Opposites do attract and the film Steel Magnolias is for me the best example of this. Sexy, cranky, eccentric, geek, and troubled. Each character fascinated by the other and wishing they had just an ounce of their friend’s unique qualities themselves. So the next best thing is to surround yourself with a joker who thinks of ways to get you laughing even when you don’t feel like it, someone to feed your mind with interesting facts you’ve never heard before, someone who isn’t scared of taking chances when all you do is dream about doing something that’s out of character and someone brazen enough to display her ample cleavage wearing a skirt way above her knees with complete confidence.

There will be fights, yes there are plenty of them and they are usually born from frustration, passion and men. We don’t fight over men but there will always be one of your friends who’ll refuse to hold back and tell you straight what a fool you look. Deep down you know it’s all true but you do it anyway; she will say I told you so, another will tell you to get back on the horse you fell from there are plenty more where he came from and the shoulder to cry on? You know, the one that cry’s with you and provides the medicinal ice cream in the hope it will cure you.

We create a circle that can’t be broken by anyone but us, if you feel as though your fingers are slipping and you stop holding hands just for a moment the circle collapses; you collapse too. Both sexes are sentimental another trait we have in common and it’s true that we sometimes get distracted but all we have to do is remember those who stopped us from tumbling down and if at some point in our lives we fall with a thud those who extended their hand to pull us back up again.

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013