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Do it for the kids!

August 14, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

So I promised myself that all my blog entries would be non-emotional,I’m not one to break promises but this is a first and if things don’t change it may not be the last.

Tia Sharp was just 12 years old when she went missing,her story has captivated anyone with a heart and the news that she was found murdered in her grandmother’s home has devastated so many people. Her grandmother’s partner has been accused of this horrific and unimaginable act. So how well did her grandmother know him? Did she turn a blind eye just because he’s her fella? The truth will come out eventually, it always does.

It’s easy for me to remain impartial and non- judgmental about a variety of topics, after all we are all different and it’s something to embrace not shun. But how can it be possible for me to write about the lack of protection, safety and love for children and see it from all sides? The truth is I don’t particularly want to see it from all sides, nothing winds me up more and I’m quite sure that the majority of you feel the same.

These so called adults, who have been blessed with the most precious gift, seem intent on destroying its heart and soul. Their reasons they give for this are usually “I don’t know any different” or “You don’t know how hard it is”. Psychologists will look deep into their past and draw comparisons from their childhood that will explain this aggressive behaviour. I get that but come on! So many people have unhappy memories of their childhood that they have to live with and it’s hard. But many of them would fight tooth and nail so that their own children never feel what they did. Some decide not to have children as a result, that in itself is sad but I admire anyone who makes that decision.

“You’re not a mother so you don’t know what you’re talking about”,is what I get told when I say my peace. It’s a weak and pathetic answer; actually it’s not an answer at all. I may not be a mother but I was a kid once. So who comes first you or your kids? You’re new boyfriend or your kids? You’re new girlfriend or your kid’s? You have kid’s because you want a cuddle? Shouldn’t you be cuddling them?

Guess what, your childhood has been and gone, bad or good it’s in your past. Yes, it has probably made you who you are today but you have a brain so use it. Think about what you’re doing, think about what you’re saying; words and insults have a profound effect but then you would know that. The thought of abusing any child physically or mentally makes me sick to my stomach and there is absolutely no excuse for it.

The cycle of abuse has to stop there should be no argument for it at all, you can keep the excuses that you call reasons…there is an army of decent people that don’t want to hear what they are, you won’t be getting any cuddles from me or them that’s for certain!

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Take a chance on you!

July 16, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

Abba sang “Take a chance on me”, in the hope that someone would. Over think something and the moment of you ‘taking that chance’ will probably slip away. Do you strike while the irons hot or are you frightened of getting your fingers burned?

It’s the fear of the unknown that holds so many people back; ‘What you don’t know won’t hurt you‘…so the saying goes. In reality, the only thing you have to think about is what you could potentially lose or was there anything to lose to begin with?

Taking a chance on something that could change your life in ways you can only imagine possible; taking a chance on yourself is where it becomes a little more complicated. For so many reasons, we are unable to see that ultimately both amount to the same thing.

Fortune, luck, fate; we all have different interpretations on what could be, should be and will be. A movie that depicts a bold chance taken by Elizabeth Gilbert (played by Julia Roberts) was ‘Eat Pray Love’. Some of you will see this as a chick flick, not so. I’m sure anyone who has seen this movie can identify with each character in one way or another. Even the male leads took chances, seeking to change things in the hope that they will find their place.

I say place for a reason. I hear people say, “I just want to find some peace”, myself included…I’ve said and thought it many times. I realize now that finding my place is the first step to knowing peace. That place is where ever you want and need it to be.

“Home is where the heart is”, another old saying that I’m inclined to agree with.

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As time goes by…

June 20, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

“We’ll always have Paris”. Humphrey Bogarts way of saying, “See you later love” to the beautiful Ingrid Bergman in the 1942 classic, Casablanca. That was also his subtle way of letting us know exactly what they got up to in the French capital. The only way of knowing if the leading characters in the movies of the 40’s and 50’s got it on, was when the camera moved away from them to film fireworks in the sky bang bang! Or if you have ever seen ‘From Here To Eternity’, the waves smashing against the shore…my particular favourite.

Sex, skin, smut; these were rarely shown back in the day and the shock when they were! I started to notice a change in my teens and how movie makers became braver. I wasn’t ready for these changes and if a slightly naughty scene was shown on TV I would shoot up and say, “Who wants a cup of tea?” Watching these scenes with my mum and dad in the living room was excruciatingly painful. All I could hear whilst waiting for the kettle to boil was my mum saying to my dad in Greek, “Turn it over Michael”. My dad came home with a VCR one day, it was so exciting and videos to watch too; ‘Ninja’ 1, 2 and 3? Violence was ok but sex wasn’t hmmm….

Coming of age films where the best at the time and we could all relate to their content of sex, relationships, mistakes and lessons. The one that stands out for humour alone is ‘National Lampoons Animal House’; The original ‘American Pie’. No uncool dad giving his son tips on women and leaving him ‘reading material’ by his bedside table. No, these guys had to go it alone. Hand jobs, rubber gloves and climbing up a ladder just to peak though a window to watch girls undressing…the outcome is hysterical; James Belushi at his best.

Movie genres are many from imaginative, fiction, non- fiction, fantasy the list goes on. The ones that leave a lasting impression are those that express what we go through as human beings; in particular, between two people. What used to go on behind closed doors is now more in the open than ever and whether you agree with it or not, it’s there and we are proof that it’s happening; how else would movie makers get their ideas?

So, if you feel like ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ and need ‘Romance and Cigarettes’ or maybe, you just want to ‘Eat Pray Love’ (all great movies) remember:

‘Boys will be boys and girls are there to help them turn into men; make a girl feel like a woman and you’ve been watching the right movies’.

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Families, who’d have em?

June 5, 2012February 10, 2021 shebfierce

Here in the United Kingdom, the Queen celebrates 60 years in the same job; that takes some doing. All those years ago, she vowed to fulfil her duties to the nation and the commonwealth to the best of her abilities. But what struck me as I watched her step out onto the Buckingham Palace balcony to greet her public was her family, standing by her side.

She’s not just the Queen, she is a mum, auntie, sister, daughter, grandmother and wife too! Every family has at least one of these along with divorce, adultery, disagreements, weddings, pets and toe sucking. Any of these sound familiar? We’re not so different from the royals are we?

The Jubilee concert had everyone dancing, hearing Stevie Wonder would definitely have had my family up on their feet…not that we need an excuse to have a boogie but I noticed that the royals just nodded, they didn’t get up so there must have been a lot of tapping feet…Prince Harry would have found this very difficult given that he likes to party. At least they knew the words to ‘Delilah’, that’s something I suppose. This is what we call protocol, things they cannot be seen to do; etiquette, manners, rules of appropriate behaviour. That’s the way they do things.

This is where we are different from them. They are not as free as people may think. My aunties had to follow this kind of ‘protocol’ when they were young ladies, getting up and dancing was unthinkable and my grandfather would have shown them the back of his hand if they so much as wiggled. These days fathers dance with their daughters and encourage them to take the floor; you can still be a lady and dance at the same time. Pole dancing being the exception of course!

The best family to belong to is the one that encourages you to grow and act in a way that is true to you. Famous families are an example of this: James Franco and his brothers, The Jacksons, The Bee Gees and the Simpsons…yes there is a certain message in each cartoon that would suggest they are very supportive of each other; regardless of the mayhem.

Immediate family is our backbone but extended family our friends, are special. They can be just as supportive of you when you need it. They have a good ear too and will listen when no one else will.

Family, everyone has at least one; if you think you haven’t…think again.