She Be Fierce

Meaning: Fear of going outside and being in public places or of being in a situation from which it might be difficult to escape or in which help might not be available.

Agoraphobia is derived from the Greek word ‘Agora’ – Agora were central public spaces found in the city-states of Ancient Greece.

The Athenian Agora, in particular, lies beneath the northern slope of the famous and still standing today Acropolis. It is there that Athenians of Ancient Greece assembled to discuss business and affairs of the state by democratic thinking individuals of all ages and class. It was also a melting pot for the arts in all its forms from acting, singing and listening to the notable philosophers of the day. It truly was a place to hang out for everyone.

Sounds right up my street! Meeting friends, listening to the coolest new sounds, talking freely in the open about life, love, why some relationships turn sour and how other couples seem to have the whole work-life, love-life and having a life balance completely down! I can even see a dancefloor at the very core of this welcoming scene inviting everyone to express their souls through dance and movement whilst being enveloped by the whisperings of mythology and great meaning.

Normally, I would be totally down for going out, excited that I would enjoy some sort of memorable experience (within reason and standards) however, something in me has changed over the last few years and I must admit that I find this change exhausting. There was a time when I would arrive and swing the doors wide open, announcing my arrival with confidence and courage; I cannot remember the last time I did that. It is the intimate social gatherings I am nervous about and I hold my hands up to say that for anyone reading this who has sent me an invite and I didn’t show, I know that I have let you down and for that, I am so sorry.

When I think of the times I have missed out on, the opportunity to make more laugh out loud memories with my friends, meet new acquaintances and connect with the world at large; a new world at that. I find every reason not to go unless I have a wingman waiting for me at the door or I am going with a group of friends or family. I ask questions of myself all the time to get to the bottom of my debilitating behaviours. I do recognise that protecting myself is at the heart of this anxiety, the irrational fear that I am not safe and if I do not have a safety net arranged or waiting, panic and paranoia move in for the night.

I can see my ancestors right now, high up on Mountain Olympus debating how the Agora that brought so much joy, freedom and evolution, is now out of rational reach for so many. There are varying levels of Agoraphobia with symptoms depending on individual experience and whilst we find physical connections a strain, we can reach out to one another from behind our laptops and smartphones. This is not a long-term solution, but it is a step taken. A virtual Agora if you will, where we can debate and discuss how we can kick Agoraphobia’s butt – democratically of course!

blog, life, Poetry

She Be a Poet ~ Sun-Kissed Soldier

February 10, 2021February 25, 2023 shebfierce

Where do I go from here if the sun isn’t shining on me?

How far will my weakened wings of doubt and distress fly?

Miracles stir when I whisper to my soul and it moves,

Fears rise to the surface exposing my hidden truth,

I bang on the door now my knuckles have renewed skin,

Quite sure my mind will open and invite me in.

I have visited this place before only different,

It makes the choices interesting – somewhat new,

A change of heart and gifting of affection,

No soldier to feed from left-over love – best lessons.

actor, attraction, comedy, family, FILM, funny, lady, life, Life Lessons, love, Movie, new moon, wordpress, writer

Muses and Moon Landings ~ ‘Uranya’ Movie Review

February 1, 2021February 10, 2021 shebfierce

‘Wisdom begins in wonder’ (Socrates)

It is the summer of 1969 and it is hot, very hot! The scent of rare orchids and sweet honeysuckle permeate the air, colliding deliciously with the comforting aroma of bread baking in the courtyard ovens. And, I must not forget (God forbid) the dried olive leaves used as sacred incense by the church priest – guaranteed to bless you, smoke drama and the devil OUT.

‘Uranya’ a beautiful and wordly woman (if you believe the village murmurs) lives alone. Set on a beach overlooking the brilliant blue Mediterranean, her home is humble on the outside but the village boys are more interested by the man affirming experiences they have heard goes on inside. So, they start to save their drachmas in a rusty old tin to pay for a ‘visit’ with ‘Uranya’ and discover the mysteries of agapi.

The five boys in this story take an oath on this but there is another potential life-changing event about to take place – the Apollo 11 Moon Landing on July 20th. Now, there was a problem – no one in the village owned a TV on which to watch this historic event on. Achilleas, one of the boys and central to this story is now faced with a dilemma and decision to make that could lead to the breaking of the oath of this randy band of young brothers – spend their savings visiting ‘Uranya’ or buy a TV set – Model 19″ America make URANYA!!

I cried a little and belly laughed a lot watching this 2006 movie. Films like ‘Uranya’ make me think of my nephews and the antics boys get up to in the name of experience and exploration when they are young. It’s a coming of age story and one that impacts the families of the village as well as friendships in ways that change out of date beliefs and perceptions of ones neighbours.

For Achilleas and his friends, this was a time in their simple rural lives when nothing was in reach, yet everything was. When seeing stars and reaching for the moon was a dream, a dream made true with the heavenly love of Greek Muse of Astronomy ‘Urania’ and her village namesake.

In Greek mythology, there were nine muses: Clio, Euterpe, Thalia, Melpomeni, Terpsichore, Erato, Polymnia, Urania and Calliope. Urania was the guardian of celestial objects and the heavens. Known to have founded astrology, she wore a cloak embroidered with stars and held a sphere and a bow compass.