Researching for clients and friends is one of my favorite things to do. It allows me to understand who they are on a deeper level and what makes them tick. These searches are usually positive and help me expand my knowledge of topics I know very little about and introduce me to unfamiliar worlds. However, there have been times when finding the unexpected turns my brain cells into emotional mush instead of mindful magic.
You are crazy if you think you can hide everything on the internet and deluded if your ego persuades you that nothing will ever be found. The power behind someones finger tips as they write their story or profile can breathe life into you or knock it out like a heavy-weight punch! What is inevitably unearthed can make or break you (if you allow it) and not for the first time, the universe and stars that twinkle from it, grouped together with a celestial lesson for me to learn; this time in the form of a phenomenal woman who reached 102 years of age, just a year older than my Grandmother who passed at the age of 101.
When I reach a grand old age (I believe that I will) will I look back on my life with a smile on my face? A wonderful life that I would want to re-live again and tap my feet to its beautiful music? And, the question that is unshakable in my mind;
On your daily Google search, do you find thought-provoking quotes harder to come by? I’ve struggled to find ones that either make me giggle or think, “Nice one”!! So when I do discover what I see as a gem, I become quite giddy with ideas, planning my next blog post to pay homage to a few words that gave me a eureka moment. My most recent find was this, ‘Choose your lady wisely. She represents you.’
I was poised to write about how men see a lady, how men choose this vision in their minds to walk down the aisle, the red carpet or the garden path if she isn’t a lady in his eyes. After a very chatty ladies lunch (because even ladies love to eat) and after a belly full of fish n chips I decided to flip this quote and give it a makeover, if you will. ‘Choose your gentleman wisely. He represents you’.
Honestly, I nearly choked on my chips after hearing of un-gentlemanly methods used and of course, the question of do we attract them popped up like the pesky peas on my plate. Maybe the law of attraction is part of it but as I have written before, this only serves to make us look inside ourselves to take responsibility. I call this the law of letting someone else off, free, so they can do it again to someone else.
It is so important and healthy in any relationship for both to look at themselves, without ego, to change what isn’t working and most importantly to stop making someone feel like they are worthless. This has nothing to do with any law, quote or psalm but has everything to do with common sense and manners.
If he is treating you less like a lady and more like a doormat, do you think it’s ok for his feet to dirty your spirit? If she isn’t treating you like the gentleman you are, or are striving to be, why have the headache, why be close to someone who will embarrass you and make your efforts appear laughable?
What was interesting to me as we got to the profiteroles, was hearing how people who hurt you once have been allowed to creep back in. I have to say that the responsibility does fall on the person who re-opened the door. One of my friends always says, “Send them love and light”, I do, I send them love and enough light so they can see their way out! It can take a lot for me to see the light but when I do, there is no going back and I never have.
If someone has the ability to make you feel small, ashamed and wields their choice weapon of harsh words or actions intending to sabotage the hard work you have put into yourself, how can they be a true representation of you and why would you want them to be?