Fierce Friend or Fake Foe?

I write this blog post happy, happy about the friends I have not the ones that I used to have. I’m not going to say I lost them because that implies that I want to find them again; I don’t! So, why are we so consumed with the ones that have cleared off? You are consumed with anger, disillusionment and will find any opportunity to get it off your chest as though there is unfinished business. We’re all guilty of this waste of time and it truly is a waste!

When a friend hurts you or maybe has stabbed you in the back with their sharp tongue there is no point in giving them the time of day anymore is there? You try to figure how they could be this dis-loyal and for anyone that is just getting to know me loyalty is a massive thing; without it there is nothing to base a friendship on and I consider myself blessed with the friends I have now. So what are the traits of a good and bad friend?

‘You’re not my friend’

·         They talk about you behind your back; they have time on their hands!

·         They give you advise that will benefit them; always looking to maximize their popularity!

·         They only call you when they want something; they have so shame!

·         You don’t hear from them after you have given them that something; still no shame!

·         They never start a conversation by asking how you are; they don’t ask at the end either!

·         They have friends to suit every agenda; “Now who can I use today”?

·         They avoid you when you have a problem; they disappear off the face of the earth!

·         They resent anything good in your life; why you and not them!

·         They don’t try and stop you from doing something stupid; they want you to look stupid!

·         They will take advantage when you do; your cock-up is their pleasure in life!

‘Your BFF’

·         Will encourage you; You go girl!!

·         Will sense when something is wrong and find out what it is; they make it their mission!

·         Will not avoid a touchy subject; the touchier the better!

·         Will defend you; people better watch out!

·         They won’t judge you; everyone has a past and they don’t mind yours!

·         Are never too busy and make time; a text will do!

·         Understand when you want to be alone; they are patient!

·         Will have your back; they let everybody know!

·         Will warn you against doing something stupid; really stupid!

·         Will be there if you do it anyway; not so stupid!

·         Will read my blog posts and ask everyone to do the same!

My message, like all inspirational friendships is simple; know your BFF’s or you’ll forever be saying WTF; FFS!!!!

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013

Word to The Mother…

Hearing of pregnancies is always such a lovely thing and that kind of beautiful news always makes my day! It’s so exciting to know that the mother’s life is about to be enhanced in so many ways; then I got to thinking about the baby. No doubt, babies are loved and these sweet-smelling can’t take your eyes of them little bundles should be; but is a mothers love enough? It seems more and more women are opting to have babies without the fathers knowledge and opt out of telling ‘him’ that he will even be one.

The stories I hear are very personal from going off to a sperm bank spending hours choosing a donor from a colour coded catalogue; hair texture, height, education and eye colour. It’s like deciding on the right shade of pink for your bedroom with the help of swatches from your local hardware store. But children aren’t tins of paint and their shade shouldn’t even matter. As a single woman if you haven’t been lucky or blessed to meet a man who you know will be the perfect father to your children, doesn’t that tell you that there are other things that could fulfill your life? It’s a choice that I’m not sure about, it all seems a little manufactured to me and I’m sure these sperm banks are raking it in knowing that desperate people will pay for anything.

Accidents happen but Freud famously said, “There are no accidents in life”. What could this mean when you become pregnant? It’s up to both people to use some form of contraception, I mean there are two of you after all. But what happens when the woman wants to get pregnant and has no intention of telling him? People do what they want and what they feel is right for them, I’m not judging just trying to understand something that I find just a little strange and coldly underhanded. It troubles me that these women really believe a child doesn’t need a male figure in their life or are we conditioned socially into believing children need both?

I’m trying to see this from the eyes of a child, I was one once and if I put myself back in my kids shoes and pony tails what questions would I be asking as I grow up? I have lots of questions as any inquisitive child would but the one that stands out the most is. “Who is my daddy”? How will a mother answer that question and be able to give an answer that her child will understand and not blame her for? I thought I’d ask some women what they thought some said, “Good on them, they don’t need a man they can do it without”! Others said, “Every child needs a dad”. You can tell from these comments that every woman goes through very different experiences with men and the fathers of their own children; their answers tell a story which I’m sure you can work out for yourselves.

As for me, if I decide on a man to father OUR children he’ll be the first to know…

© Michelle Sotiriou 2013